Moshpit Etiquette

The first rule about moshing is you never leave a man down. 

The second rule about moshing is that you never leave a man down.

Moshing, originating out of the hardcore punk scene of the early 80's, is one of the most violent forms of  dance that is still within the constraints of acceptable social behaviour. By violent however, I don't necessarily mean that it is dangerous; even in times of war there are rules to be followed and the same goes with the moshpit. There are a simple set of unwritten rules, almost like an unspoken code of conduct which has been passed down through the ages and provides the moshing novice with a valuable insight into how a moshpit 'thinks'. With the knowledge of these rules, one can both navigate a moshpit safely and enjoy oneself as well. Here are a few...

Rule 1: Respect the non-moshers. A crowded concert only means that the band playing that night is popular and not that everyone there has decided to created some galaxy-sized moshpit. Learn where the boundaries are and stick to them.

Rule 2: Avoid stupid clothing. By this I mean wear sensible moshing attire; a jacket and tie event this is not. An appropriate shirt that you don't mind getting ripped or stained is essential. Shoes should be worn that have short and/or no laces. Wearing that spiked wristband or backpack is idiotic. The eye glasses are foolish to mosh with, so too are the dangling earrings and those fishnets are better left for a Rocky Horror musical.

Rule 3: Be aware. Keep an eye on the quality of the moshers in your pit. If they are 6 foot 10, around 120kg and (perhaps) look like neo Nazi's then it's a safe bet that the moshing in the pit is going to be a bit too extreme for you. Mosh elsewhere.

Rule 4: Say Sorry. Though the nature of a moshpit is violent, however there is a line. Accidental hitting or harm to a fellow mosher should be followed by an acknowledgement and a “sorry bro”(or brah if you want to be with the times). Ignoring this could land you up a certain creek without a paddle.

Rule 5: Don't be a deviant. Yes that woman next to you has big breasts that you wouldn't mind motorboating or latching onto with a claw-like grip. This is completely off the cards I'm afraid. Take some mental photographs and enjoy the moshing until you can go home. No groping allowed, only inconspicuous oggling.

Rule 6: No alcohol while dancing. You're likely at a place that sells alcohol and drinking goes with dancing like a pounder cheeseburger with bacon and extra cheese goes with a heart attack. But stay away from the sauce while actually on the dance floor unless you have the steady hand of a surgeon, are magnetised to the floor and have the build of Terry Crews. Otherwise though, if you're drinking before you join the pit or are having a break, go easy on the liquor as you can get very dehydrated and can also overheat easily.

Rule 7: Avoid the stagedive.  A friend of mine told me the story recently where none other then Jimmy Barnes was performing at concert in the 1980's. As he was thrashing himself around and screaming his lungs out as only Jimmy can do, he finally gained the confidence to jump into the relatively small crowd that was gathered. My friend described in vivid detail how the audience divided in two like Moses parting the red sea and landed flat on his face. Of course, in those days  Jimmy used to drink a bottle of spirits before even going on to perform and was up and screaming away again momentarily. But the point is clear: the stage dive isn't a guarantee, not even for a big star.

Rule 8: Never let a mosher become mashed. This is the most important rule. As I stated in the opening stanza, never ever leave a man down. Treat the pit like a battle ground and think of your fellow mosher as your comrade. If the soldier falls, lend a hand and pick him up. He'll appreciate you saving them from being stomped into pulp and you'll feel safer for the time when you find yourself in the same predicament. 

This is commonplace ettiquette. By practising these simple but important rules, a mosher can become at one with the pit.