World Count: 848

Or: How I found my mojo while it was hitch-hiking on the side of a busy highway

As I sit on Debbie's back varandah sipping on my tea and indulging in some homemade pizza, my mind sends a shockwave right through my body. My eyes fixate from her mouth to her eyes as she shares with me her story about this lad she had met at the Woodford Folk festival the previous year. I had arrived at her house the day he'd moved out - a residence that had been his home for the previous month. And what a month it was. Sometimes there are these unique characters who wonder into our life at just the right time and just ooze a form of charisma and charm. They're not show ponies, rather, they're legitimately awesome people who are as kind and gentle as they are eccentric. It's as if their whole existence is this one big movie and they are the mesmerising star. This guy had spent a week straight playing music loud into the morning hours and there were bonfires to spare. He'd moved furniture, he'd star gazed and he brought a sense of wonder into her life - why couldn't I be as awesome as that? (hint: there's no reason why I cannot be)

And thats where it begins to get really interesting. Debbie shows me a white plastic board in which he drew a map of his homeward bound plight; A two and a half thousand kilometre adventure down to Melbourne where a family member resides. I look at the drawing in awe:

He actually took the time to just doodle that down, and now it remains as a parting gift. As a reminder. A form of tombstone for that amazing experience that was the past month. An analogy I like to use about my attitude to relationships is how I first began thinking about them. Admittedly I was only young at the time, but it does help me conceptualise the evolution of it. My attitude then was that if two people found each other 'good looking' then you can work around any personality issue. Paramount was their looks. From that undignified start I now have a diploma in how to handle my lifes relationships, not a degree mind you, but it's a start.

As Debbie talks the realisation hits me. I see how I have been going about this all the wrong way - and most importantly - how I have been going wrong. If you paid attention to detail in that picture you'll see that up the top he's written 'start a fresh at 30!!' and I tell Deb that although Im very scientifically minded, I can't ignore the growing sense that the nature of reality is a living breathing organism and that it's putting up signposts to guide our lives. Why do I say this? Friday night I was heading into Woolworths to get dinner when I noticed a striking face at the counter. Wow, isn't that Debbie from Facebook? We had never met in person but I had admired her bohemian lifestyle from a distance from her occasional Facebook posts. This is the type of person I'd like to have a conversation with I decide. I act on this instinct to contact her when I arrive back home. Whats the worse that can happen? Worst case scenario is she says nah and the best case scenario is you might have an awesome  experience. Then theres the fact that, like her friend, I turn thirty in July. Is this life telling me something? Here is the door and here is the key. The door may look enormous, but in the end it is opened by a tiny key.

I look inwards and see exactly where I am at in life. I see how I could be viewing all this in a completely different way. And when all the bullshit is cast aside, I see this beautiful person within. Holy shit, I thought you were dead mate. He is ill-nourished but still alive and still feels the craving of life. Those subliminal signs life gave me led me to these conclusions. Life brought me here to this.

Earlier in the day I had met up with an old friend and he gave me some potent advice too. It was an insightful day really. Where I go from here is my path and it will always have ups and downs. That's as certain as death and taxes.  But now I see it for what it is. Its a journey. I write this article to remind myself of those profound moments where you see the big picture and all of reality in its overwhelming beauty. I am packing my bags and leaving my monkey named miserable behind. He's a cheeky fellow, you know, follows you around, constantly at your heels. But I am stronger than him. And I have much more willpower. Life is only as good as the lens that you see it through... and I am in the process of cleaning.