The Truth About Kaidance: This Boy is a Girl 

Since recently acquiring single status, I've been getting frustrated at some of my female friends and their complaints on how difficult it is in the online dating world. One of them, in her early 40's, wrote a post on Facebook scolding men for their desperate attempts at sex. I decided to investigate the crime scene.  It turns out she had fornicated with several men, some of which were in their mid 20's and was disillusioned at their sexual attitude. She said this is why being single is the only way to go. I must say that I was pretty enraged when I read that post and heard her explanation. Here I was, a decent guy who always treated everyone with respect, who was not getting any - reading a post about someone who can get sex at the click of her fingers, with men much younger, and still had the audacity to complain about their attitude. Some of the female readers might suggest these complaints are quite valid and you can't comment without walking a mile in the other persons shoes. So I decided to go ahead and become a female to see for myself what men were really like.

A news story within the last year reported a man created a female profile on a dating website and could not handle the harassment, quitting the site after only two hours such was the barrage of messages and smut thrown his way. It seems you can have a hundred channels on Pay TV and all of them can still be terrible. It's a good metaphor. But that logic is akin to a millionaire complaining about there being too many car models on the market. 

After I became single, I joined the dating site Plenty Of Fish on June 30 last year and in that time I have had 25 profile views and 10 'meet me' requests. I wasn't getting anywhere. Very few girls replied, even fewer wanted to meet up and I was left with shreds torn from my self esteem. In many of the profiles there were warnings not to ask for sex or you'll be blocked. Then there were the ramblings on what a girl wants from a guy and how she should be treated. One of them even had the nerve to write after a long spiel on what she expected from a guy, 'I want you to impress me'. And here I am just settling for someone who replies after a 20 minute wait, likes the opposite to everything I like, and is talking to many different guys at the same time. It's difficult for a guy online. The point I'm making in this article is not so much about the difficulty itself, rather, it's about the people who complain and have no right too. Pop star Pink sings in the song You + Your Hand 'It's just you and your hand tonight.' Thanks for that Pink, that's me and a lot of other males every night of the week.

To make the experiment interesting, I made two accounts. The first, using a particularly attractive girl and the second, using a more plain girl. Account 1 achieved interest immediately and within minutes had several messages and meet me requests. Account 2 achieved results at a slower rate, but the interest was still consistent. What intrigued me the most was the pick up lines used. A majority used a fairly similar approach: "Hey, how you going?" - others were more imaginative and/or sleazy. 'Looking for some fun for me and my girl, would you be up for some fun?' said one. "All I can say it that, although it's the first time I've spoken to you I would have to say that you would have to be by far the most beautiful young lady I think I have ever had the pleasure of looking upon!!' started another. To give some perspective to my 10 meet me requests, since creating both female accounts in February, I've acquired 750 meet me requests on account 1 and 265 on account 2. That's a lot of crap for a 'girl' to sort through I realise, and in future, I'll be more forgiving when I have a while to wait for a reply. I also understand now how much competition there is out there and that I'm just a number in a long queue.

It's important to remember that there are a lot of girls in my boat too. I personally know a number of my female Facebook friends who would get similar numbers to my 10 requests, so it's all relative. To the guys: this is a cautionary tale. There's a lot of you out there. Be polite. Be unique. Don't get down in the dumps at the peril of your situation, that only makes things worse and only a significant change in your attitude will bring you back up. Lord knows no one online will show any sympathy. So don't give up.

And to the pretty girls out there: be humble. It was a flattering experience being one of you for this experiment.